Dear Diary (OC x Stein)
by Emma Everstone
Summary: The diaries of the married couple Stein and Marie along with Stein's apprentice Emma. What will come of the pretty 16 year old Emma and her disdain for her teacher's pregnant wife? Well we'll see
1. Day 1

Marie's diary: I realized today that I had never really truly heard him laugh. A quick exhale in a show of amusement, a mocking bark of laughter, a laugh filled with madness, sure I'd heard those but never a true full bellied laugh like that. I'm conflicted on whether or not this is a good thing, of course I want him to be happy but laughing because of her? She'd easily pull him into madness unlike my stable aura... Why am I so jealous of her? She's only 16 just a child in his eyes but I can never tell what's going on in that lab. I hate it in there, it stinks of cigarette smoke, old blood, and sanitizer. Smoke always fills the air making it hard to breathe. They both smoke, they both always smoke. Being in that room with them makes me worry for the baby inside me, his baby, our baby. He spends more and more time in there with her every day and I don't think I can take it much longer.

Stein's journal: She let me dissect her today, I'd never had a willing patient before, someone who wouldn't call themselves a victim. I don't like keeping secrets from Marie but she'd be appalled to know what I'd done to my apprentice. She thinks that she's just a child unable to make her own decisions. Sure she's a minor but she's ten times more mature than anyone else I've ever met at her age. I know I'll have to explain if Marie sees her scars but I did my best to make them heal properly without blemishing her too much. It's almost odd to touch her flesh; she's so different from Marie. Marie is slender and muscular but very beautiful even if she does have fake breasts (something she'll never admit to) and my interest in dissecting her has only grown since she's become pregnant. Emma on the other hand is soft and curvy, she's riddled with stretch marks and small scars she is also very beautiful in her imperfection. I'm starting to think she's getting sick of Marie's babying but she enjoys her work with me and I think she'll stay, at least for a while longer.

My daily log: Stein's let me start playing music in the lab while we work, it's not quite work exactly since we don't get any pay or appreciation for what we do but still. It's probably affecting the specimens, the amount we smoke but he doesn't seem to mind so I don't bring it up. I love to watch his hands, they're so skilled and gentle. He loves each specimen; he sees what each creature has to offer and how unique every living thing is. People call what we do cruel but it's fulfilling a curiosity, not a sadistic blood lust as most assume. I find myself thinking thoughts more than of professional admiration about him. I let him dissect me just to be looked at like he does his other experiments. I'll never tell him how I feel though, never ask for more than to be a colleague and friend. He has a wife (a very annoying wife) and a child on the way. I can't wreck that. I love him and will show him that affection but not with romance, simply with the fact that he doesn't scare me and that I enjoy his company, that we can laugh together. He's so perfectly imperfect.


	2. Day 2

Marie's diary: I can't believe he touched her, pressed a scalpel into her stomach, violate her flesh like that. But... What's upsetting me about it? Is it that he cut open this... This child or is it the intimacy of it all. I know that he feels what he does is science but it's not like he's actually discovering anything new. I hate to say it but what he does is selfish, he's just feeding his insanity, fulfilling a desire, indulging an addiction. Him and his addictions... Dissection, smoking... Her. He doesn't need an apprentice or assistant or whatever she is and she doesn't need a boss or teacher in this field. She's an artist not a scientist or a doctor. Their time together is pointless...

Stein's journal: Busted. I knew she'd be angry, I did the worst thing I could in the moment... I started laughing. I couldn't help it, with her swollen belly, red face, her stomping, and the way her voice goes squeaky when she's upset she looked like an angry tomato. She's due within the month, she doesn't know that it's a boy, she didn't want to know when I checked. I don't love her, but I would if I could, I just can't love, I wish I loved her and I would love her, it's just impossible for someone with my mental ills to love. She thinks I'm just scared of the word, of the concept, and that I do love her and just don't know that the way I feel is love. I wish it were true. I can't stand the idea of our child being raised in a loveless marriage. I still remember how upset she was at the fact she was already showing when we got married. I've been spending more time in the lab in an attempt to clear my head but it isn't helping as much as I'd hoped.

My daily log: We've tossed aside yet another formality. First it was "Professor" when I was still a student in Shibusen, then it was "Doctor" when I first became his apprentice, then it was "Stein" as we became more familiar, now it's "Franken" now that he's let himself cry on my shoulder. I understand his worries but despite everything I think he'll be a fantastic father. People think of Franken as being cold and apathetic but he isn't, he worries quite a lot. I felt like an idiot the way I melted at his touch when he hugged me, it was just a sign of gratitude for being there for him but I still couldn't help but want to stay there forever. It ended far too quickly for my liking and I cursed myself for loving him. Earlier when I told Marie that I offered him the opportunity to dissect me she just looked at me like I was an irresponsible child and her my mother. I hate it the way she acts like a parent towards me, I live here as a guest not as a child but that's not how she sees it. She's what's best for him though so I won't wish her ill, I just wish she'd calm down.


	3. Day 3

Marie's diary: I hate it that I can't trust my own husband to love me... He says he wishes he loved me. I've actually told him I loved him before and had his reply be "I'm sorry" and now I walk into his lab to find him embracing that little slut! Logically I know it was just a hug but it's really getting to me. He doesn't cuddle me in bed, but then again he never has. He's so reluctant with physical affection yet he hugs her. I just need to know what warranted it. I just need to know he's mine. I made a stupid decision and had a glass of wine to calm my nerves. It's fine in moderation right? It was only one glass and it's the only time I've had any alcohol since I found out I was pregnant other than a glass of champagne at my wedding... Our wedding. He takes off his ring before going into the lab, he says it's because he doesn't want to lose it in a body but I can't help but wonder...

Stein's journal: Marie has been distant today. I knew this day would come eventually, the day where her unreturned affection would get to her and she would become bitter towards me. I hope it was just hormones from the pregnancy... I wish I loved her. I hope I don't have a raise a child with someone who resents my presence. Things would be so much easier if I were normal, but I wouldn't be me if I were normal. I don't want to be normal, not at all, it'd just be easier if I were. Tensions are always high between Emma and Marie but they seem even more strained than usual, they look at each other with scorn rather than their usual annoyance. I'm scared about being a father, and I'm scared of continuing to be a husband.

My daily journal: I decided I wouldn't resent Marie for being with Stein, I decided that quite a while ago, but I think I'm allowed to resent her for constantly patronizing me and glaring at me. Stein told me about the fact that they're having a boy, I wonder who he'll take after. Despite my love for Stein I'm actually quite looking forward to meeting he and Marie's child. I occasionally wonder if the stress will throw him back into madness, I know he'd never forgive himself if he hurt their baby. I keep letting my thoughts stray while we work, I keep making mistakes.


	4. Day 4

Marie's diary: My water broke and Stein took me to the lab. My contractions are still far apart, it'll probably be hours before I even start really having the baby. Even when no one's smoking this place still reeks of cigarettes. I hate it. I hate cigarettes. I hate smoking and the fact that he can't kick the habit. Despite her general sourness towards me (and admittedly mine towards her) Emma is taking quite good care of me. I wouldn't put it past her to just be doing it to impress Franken... At least I wouldn't have back when we actually talked, back when she let me play the part of the mother she didn't have. I don't know how eager to please she still is. I can't help but notice the way she looks at him when he isn't looking, and that she doesn't get those looks back. This confirms it, there is no affair, just a school girl with a petty crush. I think I let my triumph show on my face a bit too much as I received a glare from her and a puzzled look from Franken. It's going to be a long night... Wait did I just hear her call him Franken in the other room?

Stein's journal: She's in labor right now and I'm terrified. I had to step away and let Emma take over for a while, I'm sure that doesn't make Marie the happiest but I couldn't take it. Hearing her screams of pain reminded me of the many demented hallucinations and daydreams I've had, ones of her throwing herself off buildings and me cutting her open. I couldn't let the madness take over while delivering our child. I just keep mentally saying "I won't hurt her because I love her." I know it's a lie but it helps. I'm going back in.

My daily log: It was horrifying to see the stillborn after all the hope and then all the pain Marie went through. I couldn't believe how quickly the scene had unfolded, the baby was too small and was starting to turn blue. I was mostly dazed but I heard Marie ask why it wasn't crying and Franken merely replying "It's dead" I can't really remember much after that, I think I just blocked it out. I haven't seen Franken and Marie is wailing in their room. I don't mean to sound like Chrona but... I don't know how to deal with this.


	5. Day 5

Marie's diary: My baby boy is dead... I don't know where Franken is... I can't bring myself to speak to Emma... I haven't slept all night or eaten at all today. There's blood on the sheets from the untended tearing in my lower area. I want Franken to hold me. I want our baby to be here, healthy... Living. I think I heard the door just open.

Stein's journal: I'm gonna head home soon... I just needed some time alone. There's a small bunker in the woods from back when the threats on Death City were more urgent. I know Marie will cry even more seeing me in this state. I created more than a few new scars and stitched them up along with reopening and closing some old wounds including the one beneath my eye. She's usually so kind but when I cut into my flesh she simply gets angry, like I'm trying to hurt her through hurting myself. I want to love her but she really doesn't understand me. I'm going to go home.

My daily log: I don't know what to do about Marie... I think I just heard the door open. Franken's home. I know things are awful but I'm glad to know he's back, he'll help smooth things over... I was wrong they're screaming at each other about several things... Apparently he reopened some wounds, and apparently she blames his cigarette smoke for the stillbirth. I'm just hoping the yelling will stop soon, I want to be on the road to recovery but... We're still going downhill. Things are getting worse before they get better. I heard the front door slam. Franken I assume. There's foot steps outside my door I-


	6. Day 6

Marie's diary: I'm at Azusa's apartment. I told her about everything, the baby, the fight, everything. She made me some tea and let me cry on her shoulder. She didn't have much to say but who would? She's a good friend even if she seems somewhat stuck up to the untrained viewer. I had stormed out of the house after my fight with Franken. I know I was making a leap blaming him but... I really do think it was all that smoke. Oh god I'm crying again. I need sleep, Azusa's letting me sleep in her room while she sleeps on the couch. Like I said she's a good friend...

Stein's journal: I don't know what happened last night. I remember fighting with Marie and then her leaving but after that it's blank. I woke up drenched in blood, in my lab, next to Emma. She's in the same state only more... Open... Her skin that is, the skin on her stomach is all peeled off to the sides. She's breathing (thank god). Due to the messy edges as the cuts get farther out I think it's safe to assume she's woken and gone unconscious from pain more than once. She doesn't look to be sedated, her breathing isn't any slower than is usual for someone asleep. I can't begin to even imagine how I could apologize for this... It just struck me that... I'm naked too...

My daily log: why am I still here? After what happened shouldn't I be running? But I'm all stitched back together and I can't leave him alone like this... Maybe I could if I was someone who placed more value on their own life but... I've never seen a man so apologetic in his life and I have to say things were rather nice before the scalpel came out. He had opened my door, he was bandaged and shirtless and I could see that the madness had taken hold but I stopped caring once his lips met mine. He had carried me down to the always familiar lab and we made love on the examination table. I was overjoyed even though a fool could tell what would happen next considering who it was I was with. It wasn't smooth and precise like it was when he was doing it out of simple curiosity, they were deep slices. He wasn't interested in every layer, no, he wanted to see my beating heart. I don't know really if he had achieved his goal considering I blacked out. I think I woke up a few times but I can't really remember. He's taking excellent care of me now though, I'm not sure how much of it is him simply not wanting to be alone right now.


	7. Day 7

Marie's diary: I knew as soon as I woke up that I needed to apologize. What had I done... The only person there for me and I pinned all my hurt on him. I love him, and though he doesn't admit it he loves me too, I know it. I'm skipping breakfast I want some of that awful marmite toast he makes... I want the bitter coffee he makes... I want the stench of his cigarette smoke.

Stein's journal: Marie was at the door this morning. Emma was still in the lab resting, I thank all the possibly existent gods that Marie is too focused on her goal to question the girl's whereabouts. I can't look her in the eye anymore, I'm sure she noticed. She usually stares into my eyes in an almost uncomfortable intensity but I refused to meet her gaze, I can't, not with what I did to Emma. I know I need to tell her but I can't, not yet, not after everything. I'm not up for kicking her while she's down.

My daily log: I think I heard Marie come back... I don't know why I can't stop myself from crying. I don't know why I thought this meant something, that it was more than a fit of madness. I don't stand a chance, she calms him... Usually at least. I don't think I could ever calm him, if anything I indulge his insanity. We smoke, we dissect, we let ourselves get engulfed in the music, we live. He needs the calm of a loving wife who wants nothing more than to have a nice little happy family. I want that too but... I don't think I could let it be my everything like it is for her. I don't know, he can't even love, not really... I can't imagine that life making him happy, just stable.


	8. Day 8

Marie's diary: I found Emma in the lab... I was going to surprise Franken by cleaning the walls of the cigarette grime. She's torn up very badly... When had Franken done this? She looked at me in a way that will leave unsettled for years, she looked at me triumphantly. I don't know what all happened because I simply fled the room. I haven't talked to Franken yet. Is this what happens when I'm not around? I knew logically that this is what he did when engulfed in the madness but I'd never actually encountered it. It makes me want to leave, but makes me feel obligated to stay. I don't know what I want anymore... for the first time I'm seeing him as a monster. I thought people were being cruel when they said that about him, but maybe I had just blinded myself from the truth. I can't tell if I love him, the real him.

Stein's journal: Marie berated me with questions as soon as I came home from Shibusen. They were too rapid for me to answer and that's with the half I was able to actually understand. After her little huff she asked if I loved her... I told her the truth, no, I don't love her I wish I did... I've gotten so used to writing that, thinking that, but is it true? Do I still wish I loved her? Sure she keeps me stable but she's overbearing and judgmental. She's trying to fix me... like I'm broken... I won't deny that I am after what I did but still... She stormed out again, probably to Azusa's. I need to go check on Emma, I presume this is all about her current state.

My daily log: He was changing my bandages and I kissed him... He didn't return it but he didn't break it either. He looked at me apologetically. He hasn't said anything since I told him what happened with Marie. I told him I loved him... It felt like a giant weight off my chest but he just continued caring for my wounds then walked away. I wish he'd even looked at me like he had after the kiss. He seems hollow, I don't think Marie is coming back this time... I don't think he does either. I want to be there for him after all that's happened to him, even after what he did to me. He's insane, and in all honesty I wouldn't want him any other way... Perfectly imperfect.


	9. Day 9

Marie's diary: I can't even... How did this happen... Things were so good only a few months ago. We were newly weds and when I said I loved him he'd say that I was amazing, it didn't bother me then. I was showing but he didn't seem to mind and while he spent too much time in his lab it was him alone and he'd come out every hour or so just to check on me. We were going to have a perfect life, a perfect little family... Why did she have to come back? We found her during a mission about four years back and she stayed with us for about a year before finding some friends to stay with. Normally that would've been troubling considering she was 13 but it was Soul and Maka I knew they'd take care of her. A few months back the apartment burned down, Maka and Soul are fine with the exception if a few burn scars. They started kind of couch surfing until they could find another place but Emma... She was Franken's favorite student, of course he let her stay with us as his apprentice. It hadn't bothered me then but... Soon I saw her little developing crush. Why I felt threatened by this fat little girl I don't know... But I hate her.

Stein's journal: Marie isn't coming back this time... I can just feel it. At least unless she's more desperate than I thought. Emma kissed me and said she loved me... I didn't know how to react so I just didn't. I can't remember how I kept myself from losing it before Marie... Maybe I will pursue something with Emma... I'd get scorned for being romantic with someone so much younger than myself, but she understands me and that's more than I can say for... Well anyone else really. I haven't been able to make myself speak today. I miss my annoying wife.

My daily log: Franken got me a wheel chair so I can get around the house and not have to spend all my time in the lab. I finally got him to say something but it was just an "alright" when I asked him to make something other than marmite on toast. Still better than silence. I decided not to bring up the kiss or the L word at least not until he's doing better. I think I'll ask him if we can go for a walk... Or rather him pushing my wheelchair. I wish I could comfort him.


	10. Day 10

Marie's diary: Azusa came out to me today. I'd kind if suspected considering her disinterest in guys even back when we were in Shibusen. I love the woman but could she have waited? After all that's happened it seems like she's pulling focus on herself! I'm sure she's just trying to take my mind off of things but still... I wonder what's going on with Franken... I honestly wonder if Emma is still alive, he didn't seem at his most stable he may have dissected her completely. I can't think about it... I'm just going to try and calm down with Azusa, she's been really sweet to me, I honestly forgot how nice a big hug was.

Stein's journal: I started talking again last night while walking with Emma. It was more for her than me being ready to, she just looked so concerned for me. I can't believe what I said though... "I love you too" I'm not sure if it's true but it was just instinctual. I honestly think I might. It's different than it was with Marie, she doesn't feel good for me she feels understanding. She'd never be angry at me for what I can't help because she doesn't think it's up to her, not a personal failing on her part. She isn't trying to repair what's wrong with me, she loves it too... I've seen her look at my scars with a kind of loving admiration and while hesitantly she's asked me if she could touch my screw, I let her of course. I think I might love her, but I can't can I?

My daily log: he says he loved me! I know it may have been a fluke, a slight confusion, something else I don't know, but last night he said he loved me and I think it's the happiest I've been in my life. He let me sleep in his room with him. The side of the bed I slept in smelled like Marie. Tea, Daisies, Metal. I buried my face into his chest to escape it and live in his scent. Blood, Smoke, Sterilizer. Even though he'd seen me nude when he dissected me and that time when he was engulfed in the madness I still blushed and felt awkward when he changed me into my nighty. I love his bare, still healing chest, it's strong and comforting... I don't think I've ever loved anyone like this.


	11. Day 11

Marie's diary: Azusa tried to kiss me... I'm a bit torn as to how I feel about that... I love Franken at least I think I do... Azusa is always there for me through everything though, she's sweet even if a bit snooty. What am I saying? I'm not a lesbian! Am I? I never did much enjoy sex... Maybe I am better off with a woman, especially someone like Azusa. I hadn't ever noticed how beautiful she is before... But that still doesn't make me a lesbian. I don't know, either way I think I need to ask Franken for a divorce, a man who can't love had no place in a marriage... I love him still but I need to do what's best for me for once.

Stein's journal: Physical affection usually make me a bit squeamish but waking up with Emma in my arms was actually rather nice... She's cute when she sleeps, she snores but relatively softly and she's just so soft looking in every aspect, her body, her soul, her hair, her eyes. I don't know why I didn't see her softness before. I suppose it was masked by her outrageous dress and mannerisms and while those are still her, this softness is deeper. I'm not sure if I can love her but I definitely admire her. She's not perfect, but she doesn't need to be.

My daily log: Marie was at the door and before I even had the chance to say "oh shit" she handed me some papers and simply said in a sorrowful tone to give them to Franken... Though she's referring to him as Stein now. Franken looked very conflicted but signed what turned out to be divorce papers. Everything was happening so fast. Everything always happens so fast here. After signing the papers and hanging them back to Marie I cuddled up to him on the couch. He didn't seem too distraught but a sadness was still in his eyes. "We'd better start moving furniture... Marie was the only reason the couches are here and I'm assuming she'll want them back." He said. I'm glad he's not going mad because of it all. We started moving furniture and just talking, we did that almost all afternoon... I love him.


	12. Day 12 - I Think Things Will be Alright

Marie's diary: I told Azusa I was willing to pursue things with her as long as we took it slow, I never thought I'd see the day when I saw that woman blush. It's sad that Stein and I are getting divorced... But that's just how life goes sometimes. I think Azusa will be good for me, a partner rather than a responsibility. I don't know what ever caught me up in the idea of finding a husband... Maybe it was just denial. I think things will be alright.

Stein's journal: I've settled it. I love her. I love Emma. It's such a strange feeling too think that I had thought I'd never be able to love, that it was beyond me. It's so natural with Emma, chances are I'll lose it again, chances are I'll cut her open again, but chances are she'll look at me sympathetically and tell me it's alright. Maybe one day we'll have a family, but for now we're slowly killing ourselves with cigarettes and operations. It sounds morbid sure but I honestly wouldn't want it any other way. I think things will be alright.

My daily log: For once I'm happy. I have Franken and he's all mine. I know it sounds selfish to be glad he's getting divorced but were they really happy together? I doubt it... I've started calling Franken "Boogie Man". He seems to find it amusing considering he makes a noise similar to a giggle-snort every time I say it. He said he's uncomfortable with physical affection yet he's always hugging me, holding me, playing with my hair... I think he had just gotten in the habit of saying that because it's true for him with most people. He has lots of little habits like that. I think he'll really need to adjust to being in love, the crazy wonderful bastard but I think things will be alright.


	13. Epilogue

10 years later: "Franken! help me!" I yelled as the three little ones tugged at my hair. "CECIL THAT'S MY EYE!" I yelled as I heard my life partner chuckle in the other room. "Come on cuties it's time for school." Stein said walking into the room picking up the younger ones Juniper, and Basil. Cecil is 7, Juniper is 5, and Basil is 3. "Mommy, I heard that the new girl at school has two mommies." Juniper said. "That'd be Tallulah, one of her mommies used to be married to daddy." The little girl's eyes widened. I giggled a bit. We walked our little ones to school, Shibusen had opened up an elementary school in one of the empty wings, the kiddies learned the basics of how soul connections worked and about matching soul wavelengths. No fight training of course! Cecil and Juniper are both technicians, Basil is a weapon. We don't know his form yet but Franken has read their souls. Franken kissed each little one's forehead before they rushed into the classroom giggling and squealing to see their friends. We saw Marie in the classroom, she was the teacher for the little kids. She shot us a soft smile that was slightly sad... I think she still resents me just a bit for being with Franken but she's mostly gotten over it, what with her wife Azusa and little Tallulah. Things are good, I stopped smoking when we started trying for little ones but Franken still almost always has a stick of smoking nicotine in his mouth. I was right when I thought he'd be a good father, He's my Boogie Man.


End file.
